A Mother's Pain

A Mother's Pain

People often think that once your child becomes an adult, the worrying stops.

It doesn't.  If anything, it just changes.

When they're little, you worry about scraped knees, fevers, and whether they'll make friends at school.

When they're grown, you worry about things you can no longer protect them from.

A couple nights ago, my son called me after an incident at work. There had been an altercation with another employee. 

No punches were thrown. No physical fight broke out. 

My son did what I wish more people would do in heated situations—he walked away.  He went outside to calm down.

But the situation didn't end there.

The employee called her boyfriend, and according to what was reported, he came looking for my son and threatened to shoot him.  

Thankfully, another employee prevented my son from going back inside. 

The police were called, and no one was hurt.

For that, I am grateful.

But the fear didn't leave when the danger did.  That's the part people don't talk about.

The event ends.  The worry stays.

You replay the situation over and over in your head.  You imagine what could have happened.  You think about how differently the story could have ended.

And then your mind starts asking questions you don't want to answer.

What if he had gone back inside?

What if the other employee hadn't stopped him?

What if the police had arrived too late?

As parents, our minds are experts at creating "what ifs."  And sometimes those "what ifs" hurt more than reality itself.

What makes this situation even harder is knowing the employee still works there.

Maybe nothing will happen.  I sincerely hope nothing does. 

But fear doesn't operate on facts alone.  Fear operates on possibilities.

And when someone threatens your child, even your grown child, those possibilities become impossible to ignore.

People say that children grow up.  They move out.  They build their own lives.  They become independent.

All of that is true.

But no matter how old they get, they never stop being your baby.  You never stop wanting to protect them.  You never stop worrying about them.  You never stop feeling their pain.

That's the burden and the blessing of being a mother.  

A piece of your heart walks around outside your body every day.  And when that piece of your heart is threatened, scared, or hurt, you feel it too.

Maybe that's what motherhood really is.

Loving someone so deeply that their safety becomes tied to your peace of mind.  And sometimes, carrying fears that they may never fully understand.

I don't know what happens next.  I don't know if this situation is truly over.  I only know that tonight I'll probably check my phone a few extra times.  I'll probably worry more than I should.  And I'll definitely thank the heavens that my son came home safely.

Because sometimes a mother's greatest relief is simply hearing the words:

"I'm home."

Until We Speak Again, 

A Worried Soul

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Leave a comment below and tell me what you think. What are some things you worry about, for your child? Has something happened before? 

The Little Things Matter

The Little Things Matter

When people think about love, they often think about the big things.

The vacations. The gifts. The anniversaries. The grand romantic gestures we see in movies.

But in my experience, relationships aren't built on the big things. 

They're built on the little things. The everyday things. The things that seem so small that we often don't think twice about them.

Things like:

"How was your day?"

"How are you feeling today?"

"I'm going to the store. Do you need anything?"

"Drive safe."

"Text me when you get there."

"Did you eat today?"

Those may seem like simple questions. But they're not really questions. 

They're expressions of care. They're little reminders that someone is thinking about you. That someone notices you. That someone values your well-being.

Sometimes love looks less like roses and candlelight and more like bringing your partner a blanket because you noticed they're cold. 

Sometimes it's making them a sandwich because you know they get busy and forget to eat. 

Sometimes it's filling up their gas tank.

Sometimes it's sending a quick text just to let them know they're on your mind.

The little things say:

"I see you."

"I care about you."

"You matter to me."

And the beautiful thing is that they don't cost much. Most of them are free. They only require effort and intention.

Unfortunately, the opposite is true, too.

When the little things disappear, people notice. Not immediately. But over time.

The "How was your day?" becomes silence.

The good morning texts stop.

The check-ins become less frequent.

The thoughtfulness fades.

And eventually one partner starts feeling invisible. Not because they're unloved.

But because they no longer feel loved.

There's a difference.

Love is a feeling.

Feeling loved is an experience.

And often, it's the little things that create that experience. 

At the end of the day, I don't think most people remember every gift they've ever received. 

But they remember who showed up.

Who listened. Who checked on them. Who made them feel important. Who made them feel loved.

The little things matter.

Until We Speak Again,

An Observant Soul

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Leave a comment below. What are some of the little things that make you feel loved or appreciated?

Consideration

I think one of the most overlooked qualities in a relationship is consideration.

People talk about love. They talk about trust.

They talk about communication. But consideration is rarely mentioned, even though it's woven into all three.

So what is consideration?

To me, consideration is taking your partner's feelings, needs, limitations, and circumstances into account before making a decision or taking an action.

It's asking yourself:

"How will this affect the person I love?"

And sometimes, the smallest acts of consideration can make the biggest difference.

It's keeping the house quiet when your partner is sleeping because you know they had a long day. It's understanding that their need for rest is just as important as your desire to be awake.

It's discussing major purchases before spending large amounts of money.

Not because you need permission, but because you're a team. Your decisions affect each other.

It's not pressuring your partner to do things they're unable to do—whether physically, emotionally, financially, or mentally.

It's respecting their limitations without making them feel guilty for having them.

It's avoiding topics you know will upset them unnecessarily. 

It's paying attention when they tell you something hurts them. It's remembering what they've shared and using that information to care for them better.

Consideration says:

"I hear you."

"I see you."

"You matter to me."

The opposite of consideration isn't necessarily cruelty. 

Sometimes it's simply thoughtlessness. Sometimes people become so focused on their own wants, needs, and interests that they forget to consider how their actions affect the person standing beside them.

And that's where problems begin.

Because when someone repeatedly feels unconsidered, they begin to feel unimportant.

They begin to feel unheard. They begin to feel like their comfort, opinions, and feelings rank lower on the priority list. 

Over time, resentment starts to grow. Not because of one major event. But because of hundreds of small moments.

The loud television while they're trying to sleep. The purchase they weren't consulted about. The interrupted conversations. The repeated disregard for something they've clearly expressed.

Each moment may seem insignificant by itself. But together, they send a message.

And that message is:

"What matters to you doesn't matter as much to me."

That's a painful message to receive from someone you love.

The truth is, consideration isn't difficult.

It doesn't cost money. It doesn't require special skills.

It simply requires awareness. It requires slowing down long enough to think about another person's experience.

And honestly, I think that's one of the purest expressions of love.

Not flowers.

Not gifts.

Not fancy dates.

Just consistently showing your partner that their feelings matter.

Because when two people actively consider one another, they create something beautiful:

A relationship where both people feel valued.

A relationship where both people feel respected. A relationship where both people feel loved.

And at the end of the day, isn't that what we're all looking for? 

Until We Speak Again, 

A Thoughtful Soul

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Leave a comment below. What are your thoughts on consideration? Do you feel like it's important?  Let's talk!